Wait...WHAT!?

So here is a sample of the drama that I face randomly, and this little piece really had me upset yesterday to be perfectly honest. I have know this guy for almost 10 years, we do have a past, and for about three years never really talked to one another. About a year and a half ago, we started talking again, and sadly old feelings came up...again. Did I mention that we dated years ago? Oh, and he was my first boyfriend? Good times. The last month and a half or so, we had been hanging out quite a bit, and yes, I started to really like him again. Honestly, from where I am standing, what's not to like? He is funny, smart, makes me happy, gets my sense of humor, we have a lot of the same likes and dislikes, and overall he seemed to like me for just being me. Well, how wrong can one person be?

Yesterday, I met up with him because I wanted to tell him that I liked him, and see where we would go from there. However, I got this as an answer...According to him, we would never work in the long run because, "We do have the same morals and values, but we don't have the same tastes and interests". I kid you not, he used Starwars as an example of something that he liked, that I didn't like. Ummm...first of all, I haven't seen the movies, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't be open to watching them OR giving them a chance. Secondly, how dare he make assumptions and just assume that I am not open to new things??? AND most importantly, yes, we don't like all of the same things, but I guess he wants to be with an exact replica of himself...hope he likes being single because he will not meet someone who is exactly like him in every way, shape, or form.

What really makes me laugh is how little stock he places in morals and values. One would think that those two concepts would be vastly more important than liking all of the same things. But I guess I am just soo wrong.

Just what he said yesterday bugged me so much that I wish I had said something snarky to him, but I kept quiet because I was shocked, and knew I would start crying...and his ass doesn't deserve to see me upset...and I have my pride. I think what hurts the most, is that I just lost a friend that I have known for such a long time. But I suppose putting that much stock into his friendship is just plain stupid since he hardly made the effort to even be my friend.

I will admit, I cried yesterday. I cried because someone I have known for 10 years obviously knows NOTHING about me, and doesn't realize how stupid he sounds. To be honest, me and him aren't 100 percent alike, but what is the fun of being completely the same? So all I have to say to him is this, have fun trying to find your clone, because that shit isn't going to happen.

So I leave this entry, because I need to try to sleep, with this quote from Fitzwilliam Darcy. I think in this instance, he aptly describes how I feel about this guy that I know....

"I perfectly comprehend your feelings, and have now only to be 
ashamed of what my own have been. Forgive me for having taken
 up so much of your time, and accept my best wishes for your 
health and happiness." -Mr. Darcy to Elizabeth Bennet 

To pierce, or not to pierce, that is the question.

As the title of this blog suggests, I am pondering the question of whether or not I should run out to pierce another part of my body. As of now, I have six piercings in each ear, one in my nose, and one in my tongue. However, I am debating if I should pierce my eyebrow next. I must say, piercings are quite addicting!

Here is the thing, in May of 2011, I graduated from college with my B.A. in English, which is fantastic...but I have been unable to find a job, which has become quite depressing I must say. I had been waiting to get my nose pierced because I was worried I would find a "respectable" job that would frown upon such things. BUT since I have yet to find a job, I went out in mid-December I pierced my nose. Then I decided that wasn't enough, and in January I went out and got my tongue pierced. Now I am hankering to pierce something else, I would have gotten my nipples pierced, but I heard that hurts a lot...so now I am hesitant. So I have decided to settle for my right eyebrow. Now it is a matter of if I want to go out and spend $25.00 for said piercing.

Having hardly any money has become so depressing.... :/

Forgotten

As horrible as this sounds, I only remember I have this blog when I want to try to win a book...otherwise, it has become a distant memory. To be frank, I had to read through my old posts because I could not remember what I had previously posted.

I decided to even update my blog because I designed it in 2008, and it is now 2012...so I think a change was in order.

Dealing with Sexism

For those who actually give a shit and read my blog, you are probably wondering....."what kinda of sexism is she dealing with?" I mean it could be work related, or even school related. Sadly, it isn't none of the above. Instead I am forced to deal with the sexism in my own home. My father is Mexican and treats my brother like he is a fucking god, and me and my sister are the fucking help. And does my mom try to stop this? fuck no. instead it is like she encourages it. She treats my brother like he is her moon and sun, she dotes upon him non-stop and it is sickening. this might sound harsh, and some might think we are mis-treated. this is not true, however, we are treated in a different way which in the long run will harm us. 

 i am now 20...yet have to be home at 12. my brother is 17....but can stay out till 11. umm so basically i am 2 years older than him. does that mean i get a half hour for the amount of years i am older than him or some bullshit like that? i can't even try to point this out to my parents. my mom is in denial of the fact we are treated like second class citizens and my dad tells me to shut up. and did i mention that he actually tells me to shut up a lot? about the randomest stupidest shit? i usually tell him no though. 

i feel like my gender is a HUGE and probably one of the main reasons i can be treated differently in my house. after taking a sociology class i do realize that it is partly cultural beliefs and whatnot on my dad's part. but does that justify it? no it doesn't. I am personally a feminist. i believe that women should be treated equally and have equal opportunities despite our sex. not only that but i am also Pro-Choice and I was No for Prop 8. I tend to believe in non-violence. i think that everyone should be treated equally despite sex, race, class, culture, religion, etc. however, our society isn't even close....despite what some might believe. we are a system that oppresses people and crimes of hate are acted out every day. 

mostly i just wanted to rant. i am tired of being treated differently just because i have a vagina. 

......................

Well it is the weekend...where am I at?? Well school of course!!! uggg. So what went down this weekend? Well yesterday I had officer transition yesterday from 10-3. Basically that meant that i got all the stuff i need for my new position in my sorority. I am now Chapter Treasurer.....which is okay i guess. lol. okay i did pick my classes for Jan. and Spring term. In Jan. I am taking Short Stories in Film, and this is awesome cause it helps me out.....it fulfills a requirement that i need. then in the Spring time I am taking two for my English major: Survey of English Literautre II and Myth in Literature. then for my Sociology class i am taking Sexuality and Gender issues. then I am taking a core class......so i am taking 16 units. then i am still working on campus which is fucking tight.

OMG!! there are so many books coming out!! but...i am actually restraining myself and waiting for Christmas and my birthday to pass....and i told my family to get me giftcards for Waldensbook store. here is a list of books that I want coming out (so far...) in the next semester:


1. The Devils Due
2. Dead After Dark
3. Persistance of Memory
4. At Grave's End
5. Primal Needs
6. Veil of Midnight
7. Ecstasy
8. Nights Pleasure
9. Night after Night
10. Devil of the Highlands (?)
11. Dream Warrior
12. Kiss of Fate
13. Never Been Witched
14. The Immortal Hunter
15. Moonlight
16. Ashes of Midnight
17. Guardian: The Time Hunters Comes Out
18. Atlantis Unleashed
19. Hidden Currents
20. Atlantis Unmasked


and I know there are more coming out soon.....I know Sherrilyn Kenyon's newest comes out in August...i need to write it down in my date book. These are books that i want from the end of November till about July or so. Now i have a bunch of papers due.....uggggg. well i am done with this blog i will write another one in a bit.

Thoughts.

Well it is now almost Thanksgiving Break and Finals are coming up........not only that but today I am actually picking out my classes today....ekk!!! I think I am taking two classes for my English major, maybe two for my Sociology....or the Core class I need instead of one of the Sociology classes......Then for Jan. I think I am going to take Chemistry. :( I hate science and math with a passion. I personally think my talents are totally "right brain" status....English, Art, etc. Well sorority stuff is going okay, was actually recently initiated. That was interesting.....I REALLY wanted it to end because I was wearing high hills (1 inch) regardless, me and high hills do not mix well. Needless to say I felt like my feet were on fire and bloody.....not true. but still. lol. This semester is going by kinda fast I guess.....I feel like September draged on and on and on and on and on!!!!

Well everything is going good with friends...actually have a lot more this year than i did last year. so that is always nice. then things are not too good at home. recently my grandfather passed away and my parents went there to take care of the funeral arrangements and clean up his house. I mean i know i didn't really know him, but i am still sad that he is no longer here. if anything, i feel really bad for my mom, she now has no parents left and i know if i was her i wouldn't know what i would do. actually i was recently thinking that i would maybe become a social working and work with the elderly. i think the main reason i would want to become a social worker is the fact that i personally think it is completely and totally fucked up for anyone to hurt anyone, especially children and the elderly. I think when an elderly person is abused by anyone, including a paid caretaker, it is wrong especially since i feel that these individuals should live the rest of their lives in as much peace as possible and not in fear. i don't know, maybe i am just mad right now. the positive is i still need to complete my internship so that means i can see if that is something i would honestly want to do with my life. honestly i don't know what i want to do at all. so i feel a little better that i might have a new direction that i can check out. but i am not sure... in all honesty i don't know what i want to do with my life. it is actually scary growing up. next month i am turning 20. ekk!!! i cannot believe it at all!!!!!!

So next Tuesday I am going back home early, so i am really happy about that. i mean me, my sister and brother are not having Thanksgiving....but that is alright. understandable. on my break i am going to do some extra reading that i haven't done yet and i am also going to work on some No Sew Blankets for the center where I am completing my community service. I am such a sucker, there are a lot to do. lol oh well. i want the residence to get a nice Christmas present so that is why i honestly don't mind.

i need money.....well who doesn't?? I need to pay my tuition, books, and then sorority stuff. uggggggg money makes the world go round. blah!! I wish i had they money to pay off all my stuff and have extra money.......i mean i work on campus, and i am thankful that i do yet it isn't enough. lol. i guess i am just greedy, but the thing is the whole year i can only make X amount of money...soooo there is no way i can make more. this semester was just so busy and crazy. next semester is going to be interesting. i am going to have TWO night classes.....both of course are for my English major. one is Myth in Literature and the other is Survey of English Literature II.

I know that this year i am actually having a lot of fun. almost every night i hang with friends and i have actually met more people. and i am just a lot happier. i have had my down times in the dorm, but the ups are more than the downs. I am so glad i decided to stay at school.......SOOO many things have changed since i graduated from high school more than a year ago. i am so glad that i am out of HS and doing my own thing. i was just over it. well now i better go, i will write more soon. bye.

Life.

Hi everyone who actually reads this blog. :) I haven't posted anything in FOREVER!!! just cause i have been busy and kinda forgot...:( lol. well so i am back in school which is pretty cool. i LOVE my roommate, she is just an amazing person. I am taking 17 units, two classes for my English Major, 1 for my Sociology Major and 2 other ones. plus for one of the classes i have to complete 20 hours of community service, so i am at hour 11 now. also i am working with the elderly. it has its ups and downs. lol. i am actually meeting new people and have actually joined the best sorority ever!! so life is looking up now. :) the only thing.....is there has been friction between me and my mom...nothing major just little things. especially since i started school again. uggg, well i better go i am at work...bye!!