Dealing with Sexism

For those who actually give a shit and read my blog, you are probably wondering....."what kinda of sexism is she dealing with?" I mean it could be work related, or even school related. Sadly, it isn't none of the above. Instead I am forced to deal with the sexism in my own home. My father is Mexican and treats my brother like he is a fucking god, and me and my sister are the fucking help. And does my mom try to stop this? fuck no. instead it is like she encourages it. She treats my brother like he is her moon and sun, she dotes upon him non-stop and it is sickening. this might sound harsh, and some might think we are mis-treated. this is not true, however, we are treated in a different way which in the long run will harm us. 

 i am now 20...yet have to be home at 12. my brother is 17....but can stay out till 11. umm so basically i am 2 years older than him. does that mean i get a half hour for the amount of years i am older than him or some bullshit like that? i can't even try to point this out to my parents. my mom is in denial of the fact we are treated like second class citizens and my dad tells me to shut up. and did i mention that he actually tells me to shut up a lot? about the randomest stupidest shit? i usually tell him no though. 

i feel like my gender is a HUGE and probably one of the main reasons i can be treated differently in my house. after taking a sociology class i do realize that it is partly cultural beliefs and whatnot on my dad's part. but does that justify it? no it doesn't. I am personally a feminist. i believe that women should be treated equally and have equal opportunities despite our sex. not only that but i am also Pro-Choice and I was No for Prop 8. I tend to believe in non-violence. i think that everyone should be treated equally despite sex, race, class, culture, religion, etc. however, our society isn't even close....despite what some might believe. we are a system that oppresses people and crimes of hate are acted out every day. 

mostly i just wanted to rant. i am tired of being treated differently just because i have a vagina. 

......................

Well it is the weekend...where am I at?? Well school of course!!! uggg. So what went down this weekend? Well yesterday I had officer transition yesterday from 10-3. Basically that meant that i got all the stuff i need for my new position in my sorority. I am now Chapter Treasurer.....which is okay i guess. lol. okay i did pick my classes for Jan. and Spring term. In Jan. I am taking Short Stories in Film, and this is awesome cause it helps me out.....it fulfills a requirement that i need. then in the Spring time I am taking two for my English major: Survey of English Literautre II and Myth in Literature. then for my Sociology class i am taking Sexuality and Gender issues. then I am taking a core class......so i am taking 16 units. then i am still working on campus which is fucking tight.

OMG!! there are so many books coming out!! but...i am actually restraining myself and waiting for Christmas and my birthday to pass....and i told my family to get me giftcards for Waldensbook store. here is a list of books that I want coming out (so far...) in the next semester:


1. The Devils Due
2. Dead After Dark
3. Persistance of Memory
4. At Grave's End
5. Primal Needs
6. Veil of Midnight
7. Ecstasy
8. Nights Pleasure
9. Night after Night
10. Devil of the Highlands (?)
11. Dream Warrior
12. Kiss of Fate
13. Never Been Witched
14. The Immortal Hunter
15. Moonlight
16. Ashes of Midnight
17. Guardian: The Time Hunters Comes Out
18. Atlantis Unleashed
19. Hidden Currents
20. Atlantis Unmasked


and I know there are more coming out soon.....I know Sherrilyn Kenyon's newest comes out in August...i need to write it down in my date book. These are books that i want from the end of November till about July or so. Now i have a bunch of papers due.....uggggg. well i am done with this blog i will write another one in a bit.

Thoughts.

Well it is now almost Thanksgiving Break and Finals are coming up........not only that but today I am actually picking out my classes today....ekk!!! I think I am taking two classes for my English major, maybe two for my Sociology....or the Core class I need instead of one of the Sociology classes......Then for Jan. I think I am going to take Chemistry. :( I hate science and math with a passion. I personally think my talents are totally "right brain" status....English, Art, etc. Well sorority stuff is going okay, was actually recently initiated. That was interesting.....I REALLY wanted it to end because I was wearing high hills (1 inch) regardless, me and high hills do not mix well. Needless to say I felt like my feet were on fire and bloody.....not true. but still. lol. This semester is going by kinda fast I guess.....I feel like September draged on and on and on and on and on!!!!

Well everything is going good with friends...actually have a lot more this year than i did last year. so that is always nice. then things are not too good at home. recently my grandfather passed away and my parents went there to take care of the funeral arrangements and clean up his house. I mean i know i didn't really know him, but i am still sad that he is no longer here. if anything, i feel really bad for my mom, she now has no parents left and i know if i was her i wouldn't know what i would do. actually i was recently thinking that i would maybe become a social working and work with the elderly. i think the main reason i would want to become a social worker is the fact that i personally think it is completely and totally fucked up for anyone to hurt anyone, especially children and the elderly. I think when an elderly person is abused by anyone, including a paid caretaker, it is wrong especially since i feel that these individuals should live the rest of their lives in as much peace as possible and not in fear. i don't know, maybe i am just mad right now. the positive is i still need to complete my internship so that means i can see if that is something i would honestly want to do with my life. honestly i don't know what i want to do at all. so i feel a little better that i might have a new direction that i can check out. but i am not sure... in all honesty i don't know what i want to do with my life. it is actually scary growing up. next month i am turning 20. ekk!!! i cannot believe it at all!!!!!!

So next Tuesday I am going back home early, so i am really happy about that. i mean me, my sister and brother are not having Thanksgiving....but that is alright. understandable. on my break i am going to do some extra reading that i haven't done yet and i am also going to work on some No Sew Blankets for the center where I am completing my community service. I am such a sucker, there are a lot to do. lol oh well. i want the residence to get a nice Christmas present so that is why i honestly don't mind.

i need money.....well who doesn't?? I need to pay my tuition, books, and then sorority stuff. uggggggg money makes the world go round. blah!! I wish i had they money to pay off all my stuff and have extra money.......i mean i work on campus, and i am thankful that i do yet it isn't enough. lol. i guess i am just greedy, but the thing is the whole year i can only make X amount of money...soooo there is no way i can make more. this semester was just so busy and crazy. next semester is going to be interesting. i am going to have TWO night classes.....both of course are for my English major. one is Myth in Literature and the other is Survey of English Literature II.

I know that this year i am actually having a lot of fun. almost every night i hang with friends and i have actually met more people. and i am just a lot happier. i have had my down times in the dorm, but the ups are more than the downs. I am so glad i decided to stay at school.......SOOO many things have changed since i graduated from high school more than a year ago. i am so glad that i am out of HS and doing my own thing. i was just over it. well now i better go, i will write more soon. bye.

Life.

Hi everyone who actually reads this blog. :) I haven't posted anything in FOREVER!!! just cause i have been busy and kinda forgot...:( lol. well so i am back in school which is pretty cool. i LOVE my roommate, she is just an amazing person. I am taking 17 units, two classes for my English Major, 1 for my Sociology Major and 2 other ones. plus for one of the classes i have to complete 20 hours of community service, so i am at hour 11 now. also i am working with the elderly. it has its ups and downs. lol. i am actually meeting new people and have actually joined the best sorority ever!! so life is looking up now. :) the only thing.....is there has been friction between me and my mom...nothing major just little things. especially since i started school again. uggg, well i better go i am at work...bye!!

Home Again

Well moved back into the dorm again....it is okay just kinda boring. like the roommate though. just wasn't ready to move back in. more later.....it is late and i don't feel like writting a lot.

Andrei Andrei

yeah this is him. can you say HOTTIE??? seriously!!! there is a woman on-line who used him as a model for her drawing of Zarek. Zarek is a fictional character based off Sherrilyn Kenyon's Dark-Hunters.

Thoughts

So now I am home, just chilling and counting down the days until I start school again. kinda stressing. just cause i have a crap load of stuff to do, and the truth is, it is hard trying to figure things out when i don't know what is going on. On the 26th, i move in at 9-1....and then I can't go home until the 5th of September, because of the HOT program that I am doing. I mean the only reason why i did it was to move in early, but turns out my roommate is already going to be there.....so that was kinda pointless. but the positive is my friend is doing it too. I mean, okay I am tired of being home....but then i don't want to leave. i mean i am comfortable here, and now i have to go back......ugg. last year was hard, especially the first semester. second semester was a lot easier!! i know school is going to be okay.....but it wont be until like October or something. I mean I am just nervous......I am going to have 17 units, trying to find a job on campus, community service with the elderly, and a new roommate......then the HOT program. To be honest I am not sure, but i might even Rush to join a sorority....IDK. i mean the one i am thinking about is really expensive... it is going to suck when i move back in....i have SOO much stuff that i need to move in. then i also go to Curves here where i live, and i want to start going to the one where my school is. so i need to transfer to the other one, but i don't know when i can. cause of school and stuff....this all just sucks. then my financial aid is pissing me off....school is expensive and i don't want to be screwed....

Plus i don't know how it is going to be like living with my new roommate, I am not going to lie she is really nice and i like her a lot. i just don't know how it is going to be. last year my roommate wasn't too nice, we never talked.... or anything. but i liked her cause she never brought anyone over, except that one girl i couldn't stand.

I know that this is just crap and that other people have problems that mine can't compare to. Okay random but the other day i was watching something about Andrea Yates, and she just pisses me off. i am not too sure if i want kids, but how in the FUCK could someone kill their innocent children??? i know she heard voices in her head, but regardless it is still fucked up. it is just sad, and i almost started crying just watching it.....

well i am going to head out, i need to type something for my sister.

Here is a poem that i love with a passion:

THE TIGER
by: William Blake (1757-1827)
IGER, tiger, burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

In what distant deeps or skies
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand dare seize the fire?

And what shoulder and what art
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And, when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand and what dread feet?

What the hammer? What the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? What dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?

When the stars threw down their spears,
And water'd heaven with their tears,
Did He smile His work to see?
Did He who made the lamb make thee?

Tiger, tiger, burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

Fall 2008 Semester....

Well.....what can i say?? I don't really want to start yet, but what can i do?? I mean I can't stop time, and I know I am going to have to go back. But I am really stressed. I mean yeah, other people have more important things going on.....but starting school and stuff is just stressing me a lot. I am going to have to do 17 units. Two of my classes are for my English major, one is for my Sociology major, Spanish 2, and a community service class. <--------this is another thing stressing me out.....then i am going to work on campus, and don't know where i am going to work. I want to work in the Leo's Den....cause it will be a 1000000 times easier, i hope. then a new roommate................ugggg. i swear the first month is going to be hell, and then afterwards....i hope it is all good. blah, idk........i will see what happens. well i g2g, bye.

Ugg School....

Hey! this is my first post and i just decided to rant about school. well i don't want to go back cause i honestly don't like living in the dorm and i am hoping that i can live in a rented room. :) ::crossing my fingers:: well i don't want to start classes, i am so nervous!!!!!!!!!!!! and then i hate living with my roommate for a couple of reasons, one is the fact that i feel like i have walk around on egg shells around her. and then it does get boring there. i am not too social and i don't like talking to a lot of people. i love keeping to myself most of the time, i just love reading and doing my own thing. uggg, seriously this last month was fun. i got to hang out with friends and relax. then i cannot wait for spring break, hehe it is going to be fun. ;) well anyways that is it for now.